Sweetest devotion
by reginaswhiskey
Summary: It doesn't make her love this girl any less, of course not. What Zelena did, wasn't her fault and Regina knows better than to blame child for her mother's sins. But she can't stop aching in her heart, can't stop feeling guilty because of her past actions.


**Thanks to amazing SQueenOncer7 on twitter for checking this fic for me. English is not my first language so I needed a little bit of help ;)**

 **This is my take on Robin's ,,we talked about this" from 5x09.**

 _With your loving, there ain't nothing_ _  
_ _That I can't adore_ _  
_ _The way I'm running, with you, honey_ _  
_ _Is we can break every low_ _  
_ _I find it funny that you're the only_ _  
_ _One I never looked for_ _  
_ _There is something in your loving_ _  
_ _That tears down my walls_

Regina Mills had never been this kind of woman who gave up easily. Even in her darkest moments she had this strenght inside of her that was the key to accomplish her goals. Of course, looking back, her decisions were far from perfect, but the point is – Regina Mills wasn't weak. Regina Mills wasn't fragile. And definitely she wasn't afraid of a two months old baby sleeping in the nursery next to her.

Definitely.

Not.

It's been a few days since they came back from Underworld and Regina couldn't be happier. Killian had been saved ( and although Regina will never admit it, she is glad that the pirate is alive. After all, he's important to Henry) , Emma is no longer dark and her family is finally safe, now when Zelena is gone. Still, there is a certain, tiny addition to their lives.

Ocean blue eyes, so much like her father's, soft skin, ten perfect tiny fingers, ten perfect tiny toes, cute nose in a shape of little button and light, hardly noticeable hair. Such a beautiful child. Such a beautiful, perfect child.

Exept, she's not Regina's. And she will never be.

It doesn't make her love this girl any less, of course not. What Zelena did, wasn't her fault and Regina knows better than to blame child for her mother's sins.

But she can't stop aching in her heart, can't stop feeling guilty because of her past actions.

She and Robin talked about it short before going to the Underworld. It's been the middle of the night and Regina was sitting on the bed ,looking at the sleeping child, pretty much the same way she was doing right now.

 _\- Regina?_

 _She jumped a little bit, startled by his voice. He's been working on the sherriff station whole day, came back after eleven p.m and fell asleep immeditely, snuggled into her warmth. Since his return from New York they spend every night like this. In each other's arms, her head on his chest and his hands on her waist, or tangled into her hair. It wasn't always really comfortable but Regina didn't mind. They spend too much time apart._

 _\- I'm sorry, did I wake you?_

 _\- No, it's just...- Robin swallowed. – I guess I have to start getting used to sleeping without holding you all the time._

 _Regina smiled. He looked so adorable, all messy hair and sleepy eyes._

 _\- There's no need. – she climbed into his lap and buried her face in his neck. – I just wanted to spend some time with her. We should get to know each other a little bit. You know...she's my niece after all. – she really was trying to make it sound light and optimistic but instead her voice started to dangerously tremble._

 _She could fool everyone but with Robin it was not that easy._

 _\- Regina..- he started._

 _\- Robin, it's okay. We talked about this._

 _\- No, we actually didn't. You just told me that you're tired of running away from your happiness, and i'm proud of you Regina, I really am. But you never told me how you feel about this whole...mess._

 _Regina could feel tears that were about to fall from her eyes. Why he is tortuiring her like this?_

 _\- What I feel doesn't matter Robin. It won't change the situation. My feelings aren't really that important._

 _\- I strongly disagree. – he took her hand in his and started rubbing small circles on the back of it. – You and your thoughts about this...this...situation are everything for me. I fucked up Regina, I know. You gave me your heart...literally – she smiled a little bit, because it sounds so ridiculous and so lovely at the same time – and I didn't took proper care of it. But right now, I want to make everything clear between us, no more hidden feelings and anger. So please, Regina, my love. Talk to me._

 _She breathed heavily and looked into his eyes. God, she loved him. Loved him in the way she never loved anyone. And maybe he is right ( of course he is right). Maybe this is the time for a real talk, not empty words about happy endings._

 _\- It...it hurts like hell Robin. I know it's not your fault and I hate Zelena for what she did to you – she clearly could see pain on his face and oh my god, how badly she wanted to kill this green bitch – I want you to know that I'm aware of what you're going through. My marriage with the king wasn't exactly the fairytale, he wanted more from me than just to be pretty face on his meetings with rules from other lands. He was very specific about my duties as his wife. – she swallowed hard and Robin squeezed her hand. – And he didn't care about my age, about me begging him to stop. So yes Robin, I know how hard it is to deal with the pain of someone hurting your body and your soul at the same time._

 _She started to cry because it was simply too much. Robin didn't know what to do, what to say, he just hugged her to his chest and started humming some old melody into her ear. He wished that he could take her pain away with one simple touch of his lips, with one simple caress of his hands. He wanted Leopold to be alive only to kill him again for hurting this amazing woman like this._

 _At the same time he once again felt this incredible connection with Regina. He never felt someting like this with anyone in his life, not even with Marian. The fact that he could share his pain with someone who simply understood was everything to him._

 _When Regina spoke again she wasn't crying anymore, but her voice was quite and full of pain._

 _\- When I just reached my peak as an Evil Queen, my mother came back. She wanted me to have a child so she could use him or her to rule the kingdom when I will mysteriously...dissapear. At least that's what I was thinking at this time, honestly, I don't know what she really wanted. I took the potion that made me barren. Robin, I am sorry._

 _\- My love, what are you sorry for? – he just couldn't understand._

 _\- My decision from the past also hurts you. You will never have a child with me. Once again, my selfishness..._

 _\- Regina. –he stopped her. – You are enough._

 _\- Robin, you don't..._

 _\- You will always be enough. I love you because you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. I love you because of your courage, determination and intelligence. And yes, during this damn missing year you sometimes drove me crazy – she smiled and chuckled a little bit – but I wouldn't have you any other way._

 _He kissed her forehead, nose and cheek, then pecked her lips one, two, three times. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clinged to him like her life depended on it. Regina never had been like this, never felt this intense urge to be so close to someone. But everything was different now, with him and their children everything was perfect._

 _He layed her down and wrapped in sheets, then spooned her from behind, kissing her shoulder. They both looked at the sleeping child in the crib next to them, her chest rising and falling in steady rythm._

 _\- I really want nothing but her happiness. – whispered Regina._

 _\- And she will have it. We will make her feel loved and safe. Don't worry, everything is going to be fine. I promise._

 _She smiled and closed her eyes. That night was the first time she slept peacefully, in her soulmate's arms, not afraid of the future, as long as he was by her side._

Small cry ripped Regina from her thoughts. Little girl was now awake and looking straight into her eyes she lifted her tiny arms in a silent request. Regina couldn't help but chuckle. She was so adorable and really clear in her intentions when she wanted something.

\- You are really your daddy's daughter, aren't you?– she whispered into baby's ear.

Maybe their life was chaotic and far from normal. But Regina knew better than anyone else that people can fight any demons as long as they have their loved ones fighting by their side.

 **I'm planing to make this the series of one shots . If you have any prompts this is my twitter reginaswhiskey. :)**

 **Please, let me know what do you think.**


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